Silence and Candlelight
by lostsoul512
Summary: "On nights like these it was hard to fight off the heartache, and pain had a funny way of bringing people together." SnapeXXBellatrix. Oneshot.


**A/N: I don't really know where the inspiration for this spawned from, but here goes. I own nothing, of course. Except a mildly twisted imagination. **

_-can we live this moment all over again? I know we're not lovers but we can pretend-_

It was the kind of night that made everything hurt. When the sky was just that perfect shade of black, and the stars just couldn't seem to force their way through the clouds. When the memories he had tried so very hard to repress all came bubbling to the surface.

Severus Snape was not a particularly emotional man. He had trained himself to remain apathetic, unaffected by the trials and woes of life. But on a night like this, when every time he closed his eyes _she_ was there, it was difficult to stop the pain from breaking through his walls. For years now, he had been haunted by her ghost, that little voice in his head that said he could have saved her.

Yes, the sky was just the perfect shade of inky black, and not a star to be seen. And in his own heavy cloak, Severus was nearly unseen himself. He stood like a shadow in his front yard, arms crossed over his chest. He could have saved her, somehow. But no, she was dead, and even though he was breathing, he was just as dead.

The wind suddenly picked up, just enough for him to notice it. A moment later, in a sudden burst of motion, a figure had appeared at his side. Her wild black hair was untamed and tangled, falling in little ringlets around her slender face. With her hip jutted out to the side, Bellatrix Lestrange grinned devilishly at him.

"You're early," he hissed, not even bothering with any form of greeting. A look of her flickered in her dark eyes, but he chose to ignore it.

"You could at least act happy to see me," Bellatrix sneered, crossing her arms.

Severus glanced over at her, perfectly expressionless. "But I'm not."

Sighing, Bellatrix dropped her gaze to the ground. Something in the depths of her twisted, but she wasn't sure quite what. She had never been quite fond of Severus, and she knew exactly how he felt about her. But on nights like these it was hard to fight off the heartache, and pain had a funny way of bringing people together.

Daring to approach him, Bellatrix let her hands rest gently on his shoulders, staring up at him through her lashes. "You're thinking about her again," she whispered softly, biting down on her bottom lip. "Sev, you have to let her go."

"Don't call me that," he snapped, shaking her off roughly and turning away. Nobody was allowed to call him that, nobody except _her_, and she'd never be calling him anything again. "And don't be so hypocritical, Bella."

Tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, she said nothing. In the tattered remains of her blackened heart, she felt a slight tug. Because she too knew all too well how it felt, loving someone with everything. And she knew how it felt to be cast away, unwanted. It wasn't fair that people like her sister got to be happy, got to find everything they wanted. It wasn't fair that people like Severus, who had never done anything but love and adore that stupid mudblood, were so destroyed.

"Let's go inside," she murmured at last, three words that broke through the overwhelming silence.

Severus spun to face her in one swift motion. He hated himself for this, every single time. But then, Bellatrix understood how it felt, loving someone who would never return that love. Couldn't really, because his love was dead and hers might as well have been. And so, on nights like this, their pain brought them together, and in the darkness they were able to forget. At least for a little while.

…

The candlelight flickered off of Bellatrix's bare skin, casting shadows over her pale flesh. Her own eyelids had fluttered shut, giving her a peaceful sort of innocence which Severus had seldom seen in her. Hovering over her slender form, he trailed his fingertips up her spine, over her shoulders. She really was quite beautiful, dozing off in the after glow of their intimacy. Forced, of course. It was so forced. But in the midst of it all, it was sometimes easy to pretend it was something like love.

Shivering under his touch, Bella's eyes opened and she smiled sleepily up at Severus. Every time she blinked, she could recall the way his skin had brushed against her, the way he'd slid into her so easily. And her, clutching to him in such desperation, such need and longing. It was everything she was not, this clingy, pathetic girl. Or maybe it was. Maybe she was just weak and needy and pitiable. And no one was ever going to love her because of it.

"Hey," Severus murmured gently, running his fingers through her unruly hair. "I thought you were sleeping."

Bellatrix propped herself up on her elbow. "I was just nodding off," she replied. Severus smiled slightly, leaning in to kiss her forehead softly.

"Go to sleep, then," he told her. Pushing his heavy black comforter off of himself, he sat up, running shaking fingers though his own dark hair. "I'll leave you be."

Bellatrix shot a hand out, her icy fingers wrapped around his wrist. Severus cringed at the sudden contact. "Don't go," she croaked out. Because, yes, she was alone and she was lonely and she was deeply in love with a man who was incapable of ever loving her back. But if she could just pretend, for one night, then maybe it would all be okay.

Frowning slightly, Severus lingered on the edge of the bed. So maybe it wasn't _her_, but she was gone now, and at some point he needed to except that. She hadn't wanted him when she was alive, and now she was dead anyway. And no matter how much he hurt or cried or cursed himself over her death, it was never going to bring her back.

So he allowed Bellatrix to pull him back into the bed, allowed her to rest her head upon his chest, her hot breaths teasing his skin. He hated her just enough to love her, he supposed, and that was just going to have to suffice. In a world of heartache and pain, they simply had to take what they could get.

Bellatrix found his hand, linking her own fingers in his. "Stay," she whispered softly. Severus, in spite of himself, nodded. Yes, he would stay, at least for the night. In the morning, they would have to face reality once again, but for now, he would stay. Because on nights like these it was too hard to be alone.

"I will," he said, just in case she needed the reassurance. He felt her fingertips pressing into his skin, her lips brushing against him.

"Good," Bellatrix murmured sleepily. Then they returned to the silence and candlelight, and in a few moments Severus was certain she'd fallen asleep. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, surprising himself. Carefully, so as not to wake his unlikely lover, he leaned over to blow out the candle.

Perhaps pretending wasn't so bad. Perhaps it could be enough like love to get them through the night.

**A/N: So there you have it. A very strange and unlikely pairing that popped into my mind from who knows where. If you guys like them enough, perhaps I'll write more of them. Either way, love or hate, let me know! Much love xx**


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